cathy

was a jacket

that never fit

but we made it.

nothing mutes features

foreigner

non belonging

immigrant.

 

the jacket made me smaller

i took up less space

i made them feel more comfortable

i lived under layers.

 

but then it got tight

as i grew sizes

my eyes opened wide

my mind became wiser

the double-edged sword

that split my insides up

i broke it with my tongue

and i burned it in a fire

take my name to claim

what’s held by colonizers

sewing back together

the wounds that they divided

i can testify for my family’s survival

8500 miles

still rooted at arrival.

 

la la la la la la

my name is my birthright

la la la la la la

my name is my birthright

so rise, rise

say your name and rise

rise, rise

say your name and rise. 

 

see, cathy is their claim

a figurative harbor

a brand in their own language

like my bloodline has no honor

but the people of the jungle

defeat your agent orange

and the people of the boats

journey strong across the waters

so i take this jacket off

and don my people’s armor

and i rock the coat of arms

of my motherland soldiers

my name is thy nguyen

i’m my ancestors’ reprise

my people span the seas

but we stay rooted at arrival.

 

la la la la la la

my name is my birthright

la la la la la la

my name is my birthright

so rise, rise

say your name and rise

rise, rise

say your name and rise.

 

being a womxn means mastering the art of pretending

that everything is ok

that everything is normal

that pain is forgiven

that pain is forgivable

that joy is accessible

that joy is unconditional

that comfort is sufficient

that comfort is sustainable.

 

‘cuz

womxn

is synonymous with waiting

the kind that has you feeling like

you’re wading

until you drown and become water.

 

see,

water is

 

needed

cherished

longed for

tasted.

 

spilled down

pushed through

thrown out

taken.

 

summoned

see-through

unseen

wasted.

 

shapeless

empty

purchased

naked.

 

sometimes

i am the water

and sometimes

i am just water.